December 1, 2012

if i can't convince you t h e n/ i'll just confuse you

whenever i feel lost, frightened, sad, or completely suffocated by the overwhelming truths pertaining to our sacred existence;  i always reflect, and look within - reminding myself of the basics. 

the other day i was making moves in my bedroom (my sanctuary) - putting things where they belonged / finding a new place for this, or a special spot over there for that...

BOOM! all of a sudden. . .
i remember being razzled by the events of the present moment. it just so happened that my baby blue eyes caught a romantic lock down with my very own BABY BLUE EYES in the reflective wardrobe mirrors dominating the east side of my master suite. it was unlike any other set of butterflies bold enough to penetrate my gushy insides. as the salt water drops raced down my brisket cheeks i instantly knew this once familiar feeling: i was falling in love with myself all over again.

the love i felt in that moment was unlike any other. i fell to my knees, apologizing for every abusive/ painful act ever committed. so many versions of myself appeared: starting with one adorable, golden-maned, little five year old girl. then this gorgeous, yet battered 26 year old woman - with shoulders so black & blue even i didn't recognize her at first appearance . . . it was painful to see the self neglect i had inflicted over the years.

however. . . i made my amends. i carry this experience with me - for eternity. 
in this life, & any that remain.
i let me l o v e me first
so that every time you look up at the sky, you'll forever have a shooting star 
for each and every 
intricate, bold, and courageous 
w i s h

© by the gypsies travels